A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

She looked puzzled and repeated,"T-G-I-F," more slowly.

He again answered, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."

The man smiled back at her and once again said , "S-H-I-T."

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. "'T-G-I-F' means Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it,duuhhh?"

The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

~~~

Boss: Where were you born?
guy: India ..
Boss: which part?
guy: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

~~
2 guys were fixing a bomb in a car.
guy 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
guy 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
~~

guy: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
guy: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

~~
a guy just joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
guy: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
guy: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
~~

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
guy: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
~~

guy: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
guy: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
~~

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
guy: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
guy: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
~~

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
guy: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
guy: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Hi marianne.
How are you?
We are over in Iraq.
I am stationed out of Camp Pendleton, located in San Diego California. Active duty is the only way to be a marine. Reserves do not pay enough money, or have any benefits. Hope you have a great weekend. Please do take good care eddie.

Hello marianne, and how are you?
I am well.
My name is eddie.
Nice to meet you, and have you as a new good tree friend.
Hope you and your family all, have a great and safe happy new year 2009.
Talk with you soon,eddie.

hi marianne

i hope you are wel me also gr8 thanks alot to accepting me as a friend i hope we wil be a good friend for each other.......

Hello,
Just stopped by to say hello and to wish you the best.
Ray

hey marianne,
thanks for the message. i'm busy too ...seldom logging in here.
how is school? hope to hear from you again..

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper.

"Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."

~~
I bought a new fridge to get rid of the old, I put it on my front yard and hung a sign : "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. I changed the sign to read : "Fridge for sale $50." The next day it was stolen.
~~

An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church."

"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the pediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000."

~~

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby.

"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaimed the brother.

"And why not?" asked Stan.

"Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?"

Stan said nothing.

The brother grew impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

Stan couldn't take it anymore. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?"

"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor."

"Well congratulations, you're holding him."

~~

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here's that $20 I owe you," he says

~~

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is that man and why is he so upset?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea, but every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."

Hi Marianne,
nice to meet u :)
how r u ?
thanks for accepting me as your friend.
hope to hear from u again.
have a great day and take care ♪ ♬
smile always ^_^Y

:-) :-) :-)!
Hi Marianne,

I hope that you are enjoying the summer and all is well with you .

Have a nice week,

Peace,

Ray

Outstanding! Thank you, Marianne.