Hello Natassha!
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Natassha,
Have a fun weekend and thanks so much for the add. Hope all is well with you and you are getting ready for Halloween..lol
Hope to hear from you .

Peace and Love,

Ray

im fine and i love you pics kinda looks like mine

hey hows it going

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper.

"Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."

~~
I bought a new fridge to get rid of the old, I put it on my front yard and hung a sign : "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. I changed the sign to read : "Fridge for sale $50." The next day it was stolen.
~~

An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church."

"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the pediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000."

~~

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby.

"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaimed the brother.

"And why not?" asked Stan.

"Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?"

Stan said nothing.

The brother grew impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

Stan couldn't take it anymore. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?"

"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor."

"Well congratulations, you're holding him."

~~

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here's that $20 I owe you," he says

~~

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is that man and why is he so upset?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea, but every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."

Hi yeah you're right its been a while...hope you're doin fine my dear....
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I believe that without a special
friend you are missing out on a lot!!!

Hi Natassha, How you doin? just wanna share this with you...
HEAVEN'S GROCERY STORE
I was walking down life's highway, along time ago, I saw a sign that reads
"Heaven's Grocery Store", As I got a little closer, the door came open
wide and when I come to myself, I was standing inside.
I saw a host of Angels, they were standing everywhere.One handed me
a basket and said"My Child shop with care, everything a Christian need
is in this store"
First I got some PATIENCE, and LOVE was in the same row,Further down
was UNDERSTANDING, and you need that everywhere you go.I got a box
or two of WISDOM,abox or two of FAITH,I just could'nt miss the HOLY
GHOST,it was all over the place.
I stop to get some STRENGTH and COURAGE to help me run the race,
By then my basket was getting full,but I remembered I needed GRACE.
Idid'nt forget SALVATION,for SALVATION was free.So I tried to get
enough to save both you and me.
Then I started up to the counterto pay my grocery bill for I thought I had
everything to do my Master's will.As I went up the aisle,I saw PRAYER
and just had to put that in for I knew when I stepped outside,I would run
right into sin.
PEACE and JOY were plentiful,they were on the last shelf SONG and
Prayer were hanging near,so I just helped myself.Then I saw the angel
asked,"How much now do I really owe?" She just smile and said
"Just take them everywhere you go."
Again I smiled at her and said,"How much now do I really owe?"
She smiled and said,"MY CHILD,JESUS PAID YOUR BILL A LONG
TIME AGO."

hey natassha thanks for making me one of your friend hope to talk to u soon. John

~~#1

After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn't wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled...
"The Meaning of Dreams"

~~#2

I was checking every room, making sure no one is about.
I checked every floor, and found out that no one is in the building.
I pressed on the lift, and waited for the lift to reach the 84th floor.
The door opened, and I stepped inside.
It went down..
Down..
Down.....
And reached the 52th floor.
A gorgeous lady stepped in.
I was wondering why was a gorgeous lady in a dark building at a time like this.
Then when the lift reached the 13th floor, everything went out.
I thought.. : " Thirteen.. 13!! It's the UNLUCKY number!"
A smell spreaded throughout the lift, a smell that spelled D-E-A-T-H.
I was shivering, and for one second I thought I peed on my pants.
The light came on and the lady was looking at me and said...
" Sorry, I just farted.. "

~~#3

There is a girl she wants to buy a microwave.
So she goes in , pointing the item she saw and asks the sales clerk, "How much for that microwave?"
The salesclerk replies, "We won't sell to you."
So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, " We won't sell to you."
So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same question. The salesclerk replies the same way.
The lady asks why she refused to sell her the microwave. The clerk says, "That isn't a microwave it's a TV."

Two guys were playing golf when the first one said, "I really need to take a crap..."

The second replied, "Well there's a tree, go behind it and do your stuff."

The first guy looks over at the tree and comments, "But, I don't have any toliet paper."

Being a witty fellow, the second man remarks, "You have a dollar don't you? Just use it to wipe yourself." Reluctantly, the first guy goes and does his stuff.

Minutes later he comes back with crap all over him. The second asks, "Damn, what happened? Didn't you use the dollar?"

"Hell yes, but have you ever tried to wipe with three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel?"

~~~~~~~~

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby.

"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaimed the brother.

"And why not?" asked Stan.

"Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?"

Stan said nothing.

The brother grew impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

Stan couldn't take it anymore. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?"

"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor."

"Well congratulations, you're holding him."

~~~~~~~~~

Anthony and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day,while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and Anthony suddenly dive into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him, swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling Anthony out.The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK.The doctor said, "David, we have good news and bad news for you!The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient, you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all." David replied, "Doctor, John didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry."

~~~~~~~~~~

At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.

A guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife has sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you very much." speaker replied,
"You don't know my wife. The letters stand for "Keep It Short, Stupid."

~~~~~~~~~

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.

Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'

The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches