A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

She looked puzzled and repeated,"T-G-I-F," more slowly.

He again answered, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."

The man smiled back at her and once again said , "S-H-I-T."

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. "'T-G-I-F' means Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it,duuhhh?"

The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

~~~

Boss: Where were you born?
guy: India ..
Boss: which part?
guy: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

~~
2 guys were fixing a bomb in a car.
guy 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
guy 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
~~

guy: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
guy: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

~~
a guy just joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
guy: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
guy: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
~~

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
guy: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
~~

guy: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
guy: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
~~

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
guy: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
guy: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
~~

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
guy: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
guy: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

WISH U A HAPPY NEW YEAR

Send a note to april...Friendship is a special kind of love,
More than endless, more than true...
No matter how far the distance,
Expect your friend to miss & care for you,
Like the way I do... :-)

hi from cambodia girl//////// be a good angel

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper.

"Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."

~~
I bought a new fridge to get rid of the old, I put it on my front yard and hung a sign : "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. I changed the sign to read : "Fridge for sale $50." The next day it was stolen.
~~

An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church."

"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the pediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000."

~~

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby.

"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaimed the brother.

"And why not?" asked Stan.

"Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?"

Stan said nothing.

The brother grew impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

Stan couldn't take it anymore. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?"

"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor."

"Well congratulations, you're holding him."

~~

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here's that $20 I owe you," he says

~~

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is that man and why is he so upset?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea, but every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."

when you do something
right nobody remembers..
but, when you do
something stupid
nobody forgets...
-e.f.f-

Every nice friend is...
one of life's
BEST blessings,
a priceless GIFT
that can never be bought,
sold or forgotten...
Just like YOU :-)
God bless!

hello... thanks for accepting me...
take care...
smile....

~~#1

After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn't wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled...
"The Meaning of Dreams"

~~#2

I was checking every room, making sure no one is about.
I checked every floor, and found out that no one is in the building.
I pressed on the lift, and waited for the lift to reach the 84th floor.
The door opened, and I stepped inside.
It went down..
Down..
Down.....
And reached the 52th floor.
A gorgeous lady stepped in.
I was wondering why was a gorgeous lady in a dark building at a time like this.
Then when the lift reached the 13th floor, everything went out.
I thought.. : " Thirteen.. 13!! It's the UNLUCKY number!"
A smell spreaded throughout the lift, a smell that spelled D-E-A-T-H.
I was shivering, and for one second I thought I peed on my pants.
The light came on and the lady was looking at me and said...
" Sorry, I just farted.. "

~~#3

There is a girl she wants to buy a microwave.
So she goes in , pointing the item she saw and asks the sales clerk, "How much for that microwave?"
The salesclerk replies, "We won't sell to you."
So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, " We won't sell to you."
So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same question. The salesclerk replies the same way.
The lady asks why she refused to sell her the microwave. The clerk says, "That isn't a microwave it's a TV."

In Science class, the teacher asked her students to give an example of things which are countless.

One student answered WATER...

Another one answered AIR...

The teacher noticed that everybody is participating except for one...
She called that students attention & asked the same question;

"What are the things which are countless?"

The student stood up & to their surprise answered...

"BLESSINGS..."

God bless :-)